Friday, July 25, 2014

Marvelous Mom

We’ve all read the statistics. We all know someone who is a single mother. We’ve all judged them and we’ve done so often times knowing the ‘truth’ about their situation. There have been initiatives from education to shaming to try and prevent unwed births. I for one don’t encourage anyone having kids unless they can care for them emotionally, physically and financially. If you elect to do it alone, bravo. It can be done. It’s not the way God designed a family but it doesn’t equate to a child or the children growing up to be problematic.

I wasn't trying to be matchy matchy but the handbag appears to be all wrong. Your thoughts?

I’ve been thinking of what I can do to shed some positive light on single moms who are raising amazing children despite the factors that gave them the title. We are handling our business and our kids are honor students, thriving, growing, aware of community and societal issues, good readers, love math, athletes, artists, have the other parent involved, surrounded by a village, mentored and just plain old soaring. Why can’t that ever be reported in the media?!


Since this is my gosh darn blog, I plan to do that here. I’d love to feature you or a mom you know who you want to salute or thinks should be recognized for her commitment to her children, taking care of herself and desires to see other moms succeed. She doesn’t have to be on FLOTUS or Hilary Clinton’s status. She can be a housewife, a banker, entrepreneur, real estate agent, or college student. Her story must inspire, can be entertaining and even makes us cry. I want the blog world to know about her! I want to change the mindset of what we think about when we think of single moms! I want to shed positive light on our journey!

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS KID! 
Necklace: Amazon.com
Dress: ASOS
Handbag: Old
Shoes: Just Fab

Will you help me do that? Sound off below if you know someone who would be great for a Mom Feature here on the blog or have them email me at KTsdivamom@gmail.com


Happy Friday,




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Thursday, July 24, 2014

High Waisted

Hope you are having a terrific Thursday. I missed yesterday's post because I was busy doing two things applying for jobs and I'm taking the HIV/AIDS 500 and 501 course offered through the county's health department for a grassroots organization launching soon to address women and the HIV/AIDS epidemic. Stay tuned for a blog post. In the meantime visit wemakethechange.org to get more information. The component I will be helping to launch is called Sisters Organizing to Survive.

I wanted to be cute even though I was sitting in a conference room all day. My summer is about to end and one thing I won't miss is not getting dressed. I love dressing up! I found these Wrangler high waisted jeans at Goodwill. The first time I saw them they were $8 but I knew Tuesdays was student discount day.

So what did I do? I hid them in the store, hoping they would be there the next day. Sadly, they were not. The clerks do a sweep and put everything back out on the floor. But what I did as a second safety measure was roll up one of the pant legs so I could find them. #Ireallywantedthesejeans I woke my son up early the next morning, told him to grab his student ID and raced to my local Goodwill.. And I'm happy I did! 

Am I the only one who will do the most to snag a thrifted treasure?

It's almost the weekend. What do you have planned? 

Friday, July 18, 2014

What I'm Loving: Midi Skirts

I posted this tweet on Twitter today and had not yet figured out what today's Friday fashion post would be about.

If you don't know ASOS had a summer sale and I took advantage of it. I've always worn long maxi skirts and recently started eyeing the midi.

What separates the two are the lengths. A maxi hits the floor while a midi grazes you at the knee or right below. Because I've become booed up with Curves and Confidence, I'm open to trying new things. One of those things in terms of style is various skirt lengths.

I had a luncheon at a country clubhouse last Saturday to prepare for the sororial year (I'm a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated!) and felt like a polished but summer casual look would be appropriate. South Fla is hot right now and too much will leave me sweating like a sinner during altar call.

So I paired my new gray skirt with a tee, statement necklace and Payless shoes. For me it was muy perfecto! 

Check out my midi skirt board on Pinterest to see how to style this uuuhhhhhmazing piece. 

Are you a fan of the midi?

Happy Friday divas and divamom!

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

The Word for Wednesday: When the Storms of Life Are Raging

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but not crushed and broken. We are perplexed because we don’t know why things happen as they do, but we don’t give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going. 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 Life Application Bible for Students

Recently I've had a few people contact me with urgent prayer requests from illness to employment. If you know me, I will drop everything to lift someone up in prayer because I believe in it. I’m  not going to brow beat anyone about my faith but I will state confidently here and now that I believe there is a God of the Bible, that He is an active spirit being and He is in my corner. John 1:1-4 “Before anything else existed, there was Christ, with God. He has always been alive and is himself God. He created everything there is – nothing exists that he didn't make. Eternal life is in him, and this life gives light to all mankind.”  Life Application Bible for Students

If I have in-depth knowledge about anything it’s storms. I live in South Fla and yearly we have hurricane season. Some years are quieter than others but those years that are active as the weather man puts it can reek major havoc!! The damage and destruction created upsets lives for a long long time. There are many types of storms we face. Financial. Health issues. Our career. Family. Children if you are a parent. Aging parents. Education. Car trouble (raises hand). Marriage. Relationships. Dating. Self-esteem. The list is extensive.

What do you do when a storm or these storms show up at your front door uninvited? Do you do what I use to do and fall apart? Shut down? Sink into depression? Binge eat? Shop? Or do you seek out someone who can encourage you and uplift you? Isn't it wonderful to have people in your corner who can help you through dark times and be a leaning post so you don’t go off the deep end? Lemme pause here and thank my circle of friends and loved ones and therapist (I’ll be addressing this in another post) who helped me navigate some of those bone crushing life experiences that flung me to my knees but didn't destroy me. AND I LEARNED TO PRAY. #win

What I learned when these people had to go back to their families, or my mom went back home which is 6 hours away or folks grew tired of my complaints was that I had a gracious and loving God on my side who knew what I was going through and wanted to help. My trials weren't to push me away from him or destroy me but to build character and give me these stories with nuggets to share here with you on Wednesdays in hope that you are encouraged.

The story of Job (see book by the same name) taught me a great deal about life happening and various outcomes. During the first year while mourning my Grandmother’s transition Job 7 became my favorite chapter. Here was a man who didn't understand why a plethora of bad things kept happening to him. He was doing what was right in the eyes of God. But his world was destroyed. Nothing was left but his nagging wife and finger pointing friends. Imagine that! The story doesn't end on this note, praise Jesus, lolol. Instead, Job learned how necessary his relationship with God was, how strong his faith could become and did through events that were devastating but only temporarily. Ultimately, he was given back all he had lost in a greater sum (see Job 42).

So today if you are in a storm. Grab a golf umbrella (these are much larger than standard umbrella and provide more protection) aka the Word of God aka his promises and dance in the rain. You aren't forgotten. God knows where you are, who you are, who you can become and what he’s placed inside of you. He knows you can survive it all. “However, we possess this precious treasure in human vessels of earth, that the grandeur and exceeding greatness of the power may be shown to be from God and not from ourselves.” 2 Corinthians 4:7  The Amplified Bible



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Monday, July 14, 2014

Skittles

Desserts
Photo Credit


One night I was sitting on my bed after a shower lotioning (Is that a word?) and KT knocks on the door. I allow him to come in. I WAS IN MY ROBE. Cause he’s too old to be barging in my bedroom. Mothers be careful. Set boundaries. Proceeding……He walks in and asked me why my room smelled like skittles. At that moment it was the funniest thing but after I thought about it, I wondered how many single moms or women don’t go to bed smelling like a bag of skittles.

I thought of the inspirational quote, “Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.” And it is. You are special. Every day you are alive is a day to celebrate yourself.  That particular night was. There isn't a night that I don’t pull out something yummy to rub into my skin. Free Target plug: you should try the Sonia Kashuk body butters. They are lovely. They aren't skittleish smelling at all.

I’m kidding about the skittles but not about living and loving oneself now, in this very moment. Am I the only one who hates the smell of vanilla on skin or those really sweet body lotions. Gags o.O Why wait to wear the fancy dress, spritz the perfume, put on the lipstick or wear the shoes? If I’m not conditioned to slather exquisite skin butters on now while I’m single, will I suddenly become the girl who does so because someone is sleeping next to me. Maybe. Maybe not. I’d rather it already be a habit. Besides I enjoy smelling yummy after a shower.  I know there are various reasons why women don’t pamper themselves as much as they would like. But if you can do so. Paint your own toes. Soak your feet. Treat yourself to dinner, drinks and a movie. Buy the dress or shoes ONLY if you have the extra money and all your bills are paid. Get rid of your kid(s) and spend the night alone drinking wine and reading.

I tell my son that I can’t be any good to parent if I’m no good to myself. I encourage other moms to do the same thing. Single, married, engaged or dating. Be sure that you are loving yourself so well that those around you know what the expectation is in order to be in your space. Whatever it is that makes you feel like the beautiful royal Queen you are go and do it. Be your own lover!



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Friday, July 11, 2014

Tribal

Today was movie day with the kid. We saw Dawn of the Planet of The Apes and it was exactly what they advertised...an action packed flick.
I was overdressed but I promised that I'm back and I would throw in a fashion post weekly. Here it is. Thank Forever21 (top), Target (skirt) and Macys (sandals).
Happy Friday!

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

the Word for Wednesday: Proverbs Challenge


I thought this title was really catchy until I started writing this post. Now I feel like it suggests that this inspirational word is only good for one day. It isn't. I've found that I might hear or read something related to scripture and not consider it again until I have a specific moment where that words comes alive.

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I saw a challenge floating around Facebook and Twitter to read the book of Proverbs. I didn't pay much attention to it because I’d read most of that chapter before. I know it is filled with wise nuggets that anyone can understand depending on the translation of the Bible you are reading. Some of my favorite translations are: The Amplified, Message, Life Recovery and Life Application for Students. I own all these and read between them.

Here is where I confess that I have moments where I don’t read the Bible at all. This isn't a good or bad thing depending on your views. I do read a lot of prayers that are written from scripture so I’m getting the word. AND I attend church on the regular. Truthfully, this week I've decided that I can finish two more novels and then I’m going to focus on studying the Bible and reading some of the many books on my shelf that will enhance my CHRISTIAN walk. #Jesusbealibraryvisitblocker I’m going to start with Journey to the Well by my Soror Bishop Vashti M. McKenzie. I purchased this title when it was first released and she was elected as the first woman Bishop in the AME church (my mom currently serves as a Pastor in this denomination). A few of my other favorite titles are  Prayers that Avail Much by Germaine Copeland. I have the all 3 volumes in one. Joyce Meyer’s Battle of the Mind – Winning the Battle In Your Mind is also one that I pull off the shelf when I feel mentally overloaded. I’d also suggest checking out Stormie Omartian.

#thisisgoingtobealoooonnnggggword

So the word I want to share today is from the 7th chapter of Proverbs. Read it here. In my words this chapter is about a woman or man who seduces another to have their fill of sex. Yep just sex. No love. You can find love in other chapters though (Song of Solomon, etc). The description in the Life Application Bible was vulgar but effective. v10 “She approached him, saucy and pert, and dressed seductively. v26 “For she has been the ruin of multitudes – a vast host of men have been her victims.” Now I can see this both ways. A man can do the same thing with his charm, deep voice and 6 pack. #thinklikeamantoo The nugget I walked away with is to be very selective of who you have sexual encounters with. Know their past. Don’t walk into a death trap. v22, 23 he followed her as an ox going to the butcher or as a stag that is trapped, waiting to be killed with an arrow through his heart. He was as a bird flying into a snare, not knowing the fate awaiting it there.

Most of us have had some parental instruction and now life experiences that have shaped the way we look at love, marriage, relationships and intimacy. So I reminded myself of those lessons. Then I read the chapter again and received clarity. I called my son into the room and asked him if he recalled the reason I wanted to make sure he is able to cook, clean and do household chores for himself. He did. Here’s what I've been telling him for a while *****THIS IS NOT PG 13******in my EXACT words. “Son, be sure you can cook and clean and handle your own living space when you go off to college because I don’t want you coming home telling me so and so is expecting or I had to visit the clinic because you allowed so and so to do those things for you while she did things to you (catch my drift?!). I was fast as the old folks say back in my day but slow about it. I didn't break out until college. The most I did before was talk on the phone and write letters to boys. Honey these lil girls these days are tenured professors at the School of Zane. I said all that to say, this chapter not only teaches about sexual purity but reminds us of the cost if we don’t treat our bodies and spirits with respect.

My dating life is really dry again this summer. #butImstillintheskreetsliving Well it is drying up. I've been up front with any guy who shows interest. Telling them there will be no sex. It complicates things. It’s what the Bible encourages me not to do before marriage. And now Proverbs 7 reminds me of the danger of chasing that fine specimen to get my itch scratch. Watch it now!

What’s your interpretation of this chapter?
Are you participating in the Proverbs challenge? Any Bible challenges?
Are there any faith based writers, books or series you suggest?

What are you teaching your son/s and daughter/s about sex in 2014?

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P.S. My 15 yo son is also doing the challenge with me.  He’s read this book before as well for our family Bible study time. He has a Revolution Bible for teen guys. Your kids can participate. Go for it!